Philadelphia Tonight / Hacking My Wii / SNL

One:

I'm back in Philadelphia tonight performing on a Philly's All-Stars Showcase. That means I do fifteen minutes of jokes. I'm going to be a lot of new material that seems to be doing well recently.

Two:

I've hacked my Nintendo Wii.

It wasn't too hard to do, and now I've got just about every game I've ever loved emulated on the console. This turns it from a decent system with some pretty good games into a fucking powerhouse party system.

Tetris Attack, son.

While the Nintendo64 emulator is altogether broken, the others work really well and present some decent emulation, if not as perfect as the Virtual Console games.

Three:

I interviewed for a job at Saturday Night Live yesterday. Not writing / performing-related, so don't get too excited. The upside: I realized that my input would have a real affect on the visual output of the show. The downside: I would need to cancel half the shows I'm booked on for the rest of the year.

Yikes.

Choices!

Replicating Emotions

I was talking to my cousin this morning on G-Chat and he asked me what it felt like being on stage. It's hard to explain, but I think I've found two songs that might help illustrate the two extremes:

Killing:



Bombing:



That about handles it.

I'm Philly's Second Funniest Person

Yay! I'm Philly's Second Funniest Person! Philadelphia, I mean. You know. Oh, man! Awkward!

The finals show went really well. Although it was easy to see that Kent Haines would win (deservedly so), it was a toss-up between the rest of us. Derek Gaines (who won third) crushed with amazing conceptual jokes. If you ever hear the bit "Gangster Dream," you'll know what I mean.

I went up early and got a really good reaction from the audience. The judges liked me too, and I got some really great feedback from a few good folks. I've been asked to submit and audition for a few things now (writing and performing), which makes me both nervous and extremely excited.

To be honest, I didn't know if I'd place. That's not me being humble. The finals were tough. Comedians such as Pat Barker fucking brought it hardcore and I definitely placed second by a hair. But when they called my name, I lost it. It was Christmas morning. It was my birthday. It was great.

I know it's second place. But I honestly didn't expect even that much.

After that, everyone did a late-night Finalists' Showcase. That show was... rough. The audience started great and Larry XL and Pat Barker crushed. But after a while people got drunk and the last three comics (Derek, myself, and Kent) had good, but certainly more difficult sets.

When I mentioned that Phelps had won his 8th gold medal - just as a mention rather than a bit - a woman said, "I HATE MICHAEL PHELPS!" That's where we were.

But it was fun and I did well.

Wednesday I've been invited back to do a Philly All-Stars Showcase. Yay!

My New Black 20 Article And Harry Stephen Keeler

I wrote this new Black20 article about TNT's The Closer.

The end is heavily influenced by my third favorite writer, Harry Stephen Keeler.

There's something to be said for rambling writing. Some people might call it "Stream of Consciousness," but that implies some sort of linear path, simply without a filter. Keeler's writing diverges, loops back around, and includes needlessly repetitive statements.

And it's beautiful.

The Rest of America's Map of New York City

After getting sent this New Yorker's Map of America, I thought I'd return the favor and make The Rest of America's Map of New York City.

What I've Been Up To

I've been writing my new stand-up routine. I hope you like it:

I'm Now a Blogger For Beanstockd

I've been asked to begin blogging for Beanstockd, which is sort of a Green Gawker, if you would. Here's something I posted on.

I'll also be working with them on videos soon with the likes of Sean O'Connor, Nick Maritato, and Andrew Wright. Who are beautiful men well deserving of my praise.

Bernie Mac, Age 50

Bernie Mac died today, at age 50. He was a great comedian.

He also falls into a weird part of my comedy life. An important part, too.

I had a friend who often drove me to and from high school because we lived in the same neighborhood and I didn’t have a car. He was a massive Def Jam Comedy fan, so he had albums and copies of the televised shows ripped to CD, and we would listen to them in his car all the forty-minute drive to Dillard High School.

Chris Tucker was in there, Martin Lawrence was in there, lots of good, famous comedians. But Bernie Mac was one who stood out for me for some reason. Maybe his delivery was more solid and less frantic – which seemed to be a bit more popular then – but I always enjoyed his act. When I saw him in movies like Ocean’s Eleven, I got excited the way you get excited when you see your friends in commercials or getting TV spots.

I don’t know. I’m just sad about the whole thing. 50. 50? That’s too young. He’s had a great career, but only wish there had been more.

Scientists Literally Find The World's Oldest Joke

The joke is from 1900 BC and Sumerian.

The joke is: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

Aw, no! Aw, no! He said what I'm thinking!

We've all been there, though! Am I right, fella's? You get a young wife as a trade from a local tribe to cease your warfare over the fertile plains between your villages and she still fears fire - why wouldn't she? she's eleven! - and you put her in your lap and she gets nervous and just lets one rip!

I think the joke's funny because it's so relatable.

I'm glad that someone said it and then said, "This is hilarious, I better carve it into a clay tablet so I don't forget it."